I was about five years old when I began to contemplate my mortality. More accurately my death. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of not existing. Of disappearing from this earth and going to a place called heaven. Not my body, of course, but my soul.
I didn't understand what a soul was. What part of me reflecting back in the mirror was my soul? I believed my soul was someone or something outside of myself. I don't remember why, but a voice in my head started haunting me. I'm here, but I'm not really here because one day I will die and cease to exist. This phrase haunted me for years. I can't begin to describe the overwhelming fear I felt everytime I heard it. Fear raced through my body until it was difficult to breath.
After this spiritual encounter I never felt anxiety about my death. Today I believe this spirit was an angel. Sometimes when I meditate I can see a spark of bright light dancing to the left of my peripheral vision and I can feel the same playful loving energy. As a child I referred to her as The Wind and Dancing Leaves.
Every Autumn I remember this magical experience and thank her for washing away my fear of death. We don't end, we are eternal.